Safer sex isn�t only for the prevention of new HIV infections. It�s important for positives, too. A couple where both partners are HIV+ can use safer sex to prevent co-infection with other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) that can weaken the immune system. Safer sex can also prevent superinfection (also called reinfection) with drug-resistant HIV. Superinfection could cause your current anti-HIV drug regimen to stop working and reduce your treatment options later on.
Here are some safer sex tips, starting with the most risky activities and moving to less risky activities:
Penetrative sex (penis-vagina or penis-anus):
Latex condoms are good barriers against STDs. For both vaginal and anal sex, use lots of water-based lubricant (lube) to prevent the condom from breaking. Lube also helps condoms feel better. If you�re not going to use condoms, try to reduce the friction by using a heavier lube that will help prevent small cuts or tears. (Because you�re not using latex, Vaseline or Crisco are better than water-based lubes since they last longer.) Also, avoid semen inside the body. Pull out before cumming.
Oral sex:
Latex condoms are a good choice for oral sex on a man. Use a flavored condom or wipe off the lubricant from a regular condom. To help it feel better, put a few drops of lube inside the condom before you roll it down on your partner.
Dental dams are large squares made from the same material as condoms. Plastic food wrap (Saran Wrap) is just as effective. Put some water-based lube on one side of the dam or plastic wrap. Then stretch the dam over the vagina or anus with the lubed side facing down. This gives you a thin barrier between your mouth and the vagina or anus. You can put all sorts of tasty flavors on the outside of the dam to make things fun.
If you�re not going to use a barrier, avoid getting precum, semen or vaginal wetness in your mouth. Good dental health is important�gum disease and openings in the mouth increase the risk of infection. Use a mint instead of brushing your teeth before sex.
Fisting, handballing or fingering:
Paper cuts and other openings in the skin can make your hands vulnerable to infection. Wearing latex gloves keeps you protected during hand-vagina or hand-anus sex. Try putting some lube inside the gloves before putting them on. It�ll feel like you�re actually inside your partner! Add lots more lube to the outside of the gloves for your partner�s pleasure.
Some cautions:
If you feel an itching, burning or tingling sensation when using latex, you might be allergic. Also, some lubes and condoms contain a spermicide (nonoxynol-9 or N-9) to help prevent pregnancy. N-9 has been shown to cause irritation and tiny tears inside the vagina or anus. N-9 or allergies to latex could increase the risk of STDs. Try using polyurethane condoms (Avanti or Reality) and avoid N-9.
Even though latex sex is the safest, some positives don�t want to use condoms. There are other ways to reduce risk during sex. Talk with your doctor about the ways HIV and STDs are transmitted. That way, you�re ready to be creative about harm reduction.
Here are some things you can do that can be more erotic (and safer) than the familiar ways of having sex:
Show and tell: Tell each other a sexy story online, over the phone or lying in bed together. The rule is, you can�t touch your partner, only yourself. Show each other how erotic the story is!
Dirty dancing: Put on your favorite sexy music and do an erotic dance for each other. Use the same �can�t touch� rule to create even more temptation!
Joy of touch: Pick a scented oil, light some candles and use your hands to get to know your partner�s body. Trade erotic massages with your partner.
Sex between positives can be safe and sexy. Stay informed: Get tested for STDs, and if you have one, get treated. Talk with your doctor about your sex life. Know your viral load and your partner�s too (having a high viral load means there is more risk for superinfection, but a low viral load doesn�t mean there is no risk.) And remember, latex is the safest way to go.
More info at: www.sfaf.org/aids101/sexual.html.
Carmen Shorter is an HIV Counselor in Washington, DC.
Reprinted courtesy of www.PositiveWords.com
� 2002 by Dallabrida & Associates
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